Following my Dharma Feels Like Giving Birth
Guest Post by VBY Grad Sarah Austin:
As a mother of three I have some familiarity with this process. I have spent all of this time creating a support system, feeling overwhelmed with excitement and fear all the while having a profound sense of connection with the divine universe. The kind of excitement that gives you goose bumps all over and makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. That is what it feels like to be involved in the creation of something that has so much potential that is guiding you closer and closer to living your Dharma. All the while knowing that after all of the pain, time, new awareness, feelings of defeat and lifestyle shifts you get the most beautiful gift.
I have spent many hours, days, and months looking for my peeps. Working to surround myself with the people that challenge me to be my higher self. That when I start to wonder call me back. Let’s just say it... they call me out on my shit! These are the people that help outwardly orient me towards my Dharma. They are the ones that when you celebrate your victories are more excited than yourself and give lots of love when the going is rough. These people for me are my sangha, family, at Vira Bhava Yoga.
When your Dharma and your people lineup anything can happen. Having a strong foundation on my mat has helped to provide clarity in the process of creating this 200 HR training. There is a feeling of center that is grounded deep in the roots of my core, the place where my Dharma is seeded. There is a reassuring feeling of purpose that comes with every move that we make. Where will the training happen? Who will come? Will anyone come? There is an overriding sense of knowing that has a way to calm the nerves. When the spin cycle accidentally gets turned on and my thoughts are spinning out of control and the washing machine is starting to move across the floor because all the clothes moved to one side; I remember that sometimes you just have to “ho'oponopono” that shit! Meaning I love you, I am sorry and please forgive me.
Remembering that being vulnerable and surrendering to the process is hard. It requires that I call forth the bhav, the essence, of the vira, warrior spirit. It feels so uncomfortable the feeling of having to be vulnerable to ask for help. Not just asking for help with tasks to move the training forward but also in all aspects of life. Then having the grace to receive that help is even harder. There is a worldview that we must be perceived to have it all together and under control all the time. When in reality the struggle to try and maintain this image can be soul crushing. So how can we pause in the moment, recognize that we need help and then empower ourselves enough to ask? This process is teaching me how to live this in my life.
As I continue on the path towards my Dharma there is an endless unveiling of layers being peeled back. Some of these layers come with a fast rip. It could be having to have a conversation that is uncomfortable or it could be resistance to get on my mat. Some of them have been quite soft and fluffy. Lingering in a luscious practice or feeling empowered for standing up for what is true to my authentic self. The layers to the self are abundantly simple and complex. There are some days when all I can connect with is the Annamaya Kosha, the physical body, the most tangible layer to connect with. Knowing that there is a very interesting conversation happening between all of layers, Koshas, sheaths of the body. Each informing and shifting continuously. Allowing me to rise to, to challenge my level of studentship, ownership of knowledge.
Digesting each morsel of experience in all the layers of my being making myself, preparing my self, to be present in the process of manifesting this training. Knowing that this training is a sankulpa (tangible, powerful TRUTH in action) oriented towards my Dharma. The most beautiful gift of all.
Sarah Austin, RYT- 500, grew up in Asheville, North Carolina She has ventured far and wide on her quest for spiritual growth and returned to the magical mountains of North Carolina bringing Vira Bhava Yoga 200 HR Teacher Training to Brevard Yoga Center starting in October of 2017.