Action as Resilience
Quote from Proverbs & Songs by Antonio Machado
For things to be different, you have to do something differently.
Everything changes. Whether incrementally or by leaps and bounds, NOTHING stays the same. Even when we feel “stuck,” our bodies are in constant movement, blood pumping, cells dying away and other cells emerging, breath in constant transition from inhale to exhale. Even when we feel that everything is static, even hopeless, this big rock called earth is spinning on its axis at about 1000 mph, and orbiting the sun at close to 67,000 mph. Literally NOTHING is still.
Yet we struggle with change. Wanting it, avoiding it, dreaming about what our lives would be if they were just “different.” Some of us have amazing fantasies about our perfect, different lives, and others of us just have a quiet but persistent rumble whispering our desire for change. Some move toward complacency or apathy, and some rally and activate for something different. This yearning for difference is HUMAN, it’s primal, it’s motivational. It propels innovation, evolution, and even destruction. It’s in us all, whether we know it or not. Once we can recognize it, we discover that the power to create difference in our lives and in the world. But, recognition alone is not enough, when we really desire things to be different, we must do things differently.
When we attempt to change using the same old tried and true patterns of behavior that we have always used, it’s not too surprising that not much difference is seen or felt. Writing this now, it seems so simple, right? If you want something in your life to be different, you have to do things differently. But how often do you long for things to change, but refuse to “be the change,” that the Mahatma Gandhi guided us to understand all those years ago. Our relationships, our jobs, our love lives, our bank accounts, our communities, and our planet, will not change unless we do. And this is primarily the reason we are “stuck,” not because there is a lack of movement, but because we are harnessing all of our strength to resist the change, to avoid the natural rhythm of shift, to fight against the alteration of what we know. We spend so much time holding tight to exactly where we are, that we can’t see that what we want is passing us by. We can’t stop the clock, we can’t stop the rain, the rivers, the quaking earth. But we can soften, we can relax into it, we can ride the never ending rise and fall of night and day, of what comes and what goes away. WE CAN DO IT DIFFERENTLY.
And Yes, to do things differently is terrifying. Maybe it’s scary because it feels like the people that have known the stuck version of us won’t like us anymore if we are different. So, we wait for THEM to change, all the while getting more and more frustrated and impatient, and doubling down on our refusal to do anything differently. What we stand to lose if we do things differently, are all of the ways that we keep ourselves stuck. I get that it feels overwhelming, but it’s the path of least resistance, and it’s the path of greatest risk. Doing the different thing, taking the chance, choosing an action, doesn’t promise guarantees. The power of doing it differently isn’t in demanding outcomes or making ultimatums. If you want to be resilient, take the actions of change, and receive the lessons. Show up, make a different choice, and watch things turn out differently. Not better, not good, not perfectly, just differently.
We cannot control the future, no matter how hard we try. We cannot demand everyone else change so that we can rest on our laurels and keep doing things the same way forever. Change is inevitable, but its impact on your life is not. If you want things to be different, you have to meet change differently, with less resistance, less refusal, less fight. In Yoga and Tantra, this is called surrender, pranidhana. The word also means devote to or be supported by. If you want to be supported by a circumstance, surrender to it. If you want to be devoted to an experience, surrender to it. Control does not orchestrate difference, but opportunity can be initiated by change.
If you really want things to be different, YOU must do things differently. No matter what it is, not matter how difficult it is. If you want things to change, you must surrender into the ever changing truth, and see what happens.